5 things I learned from being in the US for 5 years
A perspective of a young international professional trying to make it
I still remember the first time I stepped into the US. Naïve, full of energy and ready for a new life without my parents! A total 17 year old’s dream- Unlimited freedom and fantasized living all thoroughly inspired from teen dramas and romantic comedies I grew up watching. The sound of America sounded fan-freaking-tastic!
5 years in, countless interactions and innumerable life changing experiences later, I am here to tell you that the “American dream” is a a fantasy that’ll push you to take a leap of faith to move here but really isn’t sustainable as a young and hungry immigrant.
Now if you are one of the few that are utterly smitten by the prospect of moving to the US or are envious of someone living here, then I hope this post sheds some color on it. Here are 5 things I learned living in the states within my 5 years stint.
College life is NOT glamorous folks!
Granted college life isn’t glamorous anywhere in the world, but there is a misconception that studying in the US means kickass parties, unlimited supply of booze, fun filled living and access to some brilliant amenities. Some true, but definitely not on a regular basis.
In general, college students are broke AF. But if you are an international and the conversation rate of your local currency to USD is steep, you basically dead broke.
SO, in reality, you’re looking for cheapest housing (potentially having a rat infestation), you’re eating the cheapest meals ($5 Halal food carts anyone?!), you’re drinking bud lite (AKA piss) at parties and you’re buying veggies at Trader Joes hoping they last a really long time because taking countless trips to the grocery store is a luxury you can’t afford. Not to mention all the other domestic chores in addition to being a student. So glamorous…..
Securing a job is a ride and half for an international
I know ALL my international friends are saying “Amen” to this right now and all my American friends, who know about our struggle, are nodding their heads in approval.
I’ve seen a shift in corporate attitudes toward internationals since 2016 and its only getting worse! You might be the brightest. You might be the one deemed to have a successful future. BUT the adult world odds are stacked heavily against you. Just quote your visa type at an interview and your employers have mentally labelled a “NO” against you.
If it were a cakewalk then everybody would move here (circa silicon valley bubble), but the tables have turned. Now, as an immigrant you are not only pressured from the get go to do well in school, network the hell out of your limited connections in a foreign world but also make sure that your employers comply with immigration laws and regulations. ALSO try combating the rising rate of passive stereotyping in addition to a plummeting employment rate, thanks to COVID.
One takeaway thanks to all the rides I’ve been through- You’ve got to have the warrior spirit in order to get through.
Personality and communication skills sell!
I remember when I interned at a spot I was totally a misfit for (qualifications wise), I asked my boss about why they picked me. And he went “ No one cares what you studied, as long as you are able to comprehend and communicate coherently, in addition to having a fun personality!”. So I guess that makes me a fun and cool person to be around?! …(besides the point, apologies).
My point is, in every experience I’ve been a part of here, a great emphasis has been placed on communication skills and confidence. And it makes sense! Regardless of being in a professional or social setting, if you can confidently carry yourself and clearly communicate your thoughts, what’s not to love about you!? Its been a work in progress for me, but living here has taught me to lean out of focusing on my building my resume and rather lean into my soft skills (and embracing my amazing self!).
Learning to deal with first world problems
“Oh my gosh! I can’t work out in those leggings unless its lululemon” or “Ugh, the water is not hot enough!” or even better“ I cannot believe they do not have almond milk lattes in that café!”.
I know that these “life altering issues” are pointless in the grand scheme of things. But I also know that I am very well getting used to quoting these “issues” myself fairly often.
America is super advanced. With great advancements comes firstly, convenience but secondly ignorance. I’ve realized that in the process of assimilating into this culture, I’ve taken for granted all those issues that were in contrast, serious luxuries in my home country. Its making me careless about the littlest joys and blurring the lines of the meaning of ‘True Gratitude’. And that scares me.
As I live here longer, I am faced with a double edged sword- I like the comfort and the convenience of everything here, but as my past life from my home country recedes, I feel like I am relinquishing a part of my identity and the gratitude that comes with it, for simply the ease of demanding an almond milk latte or 10–15 mins hot showers (among other first world problems)!
Wild optimism and endless inspiration everywhere
I know I said securing job opportunities are stressful earlier. BUT, that does not mean that securing professional and personal development opportunities are. I will proudly say that I have come to be a fierce and ambitious woman ONLY because of the interactions I’ve had with similar women and men.
There is this wild energy in this country. An energy that nothing is impossible. Its truly inspiring. Its fueled me in pursuing the whackiest of things, that I probably wouldn’t have pursued otherwise. If you make an effort to look around, you will find countless examples of people who’ve had twists and turns in their life, but yet still made it.
You will 100% meet someone who’s empathetic toward your journey here and push you to go even further. THAT’s my favorite part of living here.
America is a melting pot of people and cultures. If we work hard enough to try and surround ourselves with the right people, the energy is electrifying and the bonds are unbreakable!
Final thoughts
Some days I feel unstoppable and some days I feel powerless. And its definitely hard work to keep my physical and mental to the T, in the midst of an ever challenging political and social climate, as an immigrant.
Is it worth it? I don’t know. Am I fond of this life I am living? Again, 50/50? 60/40? (yes vs no).
However, no move is all hearts and flowers. Living in America is definitely not as fancy the movies or the influencers portray it to be. But, it sure as hell pushed me out of my comfort zone to rediscover myself.
Its important to note that your experience living here might be very different to mine, but since I can only speak for mine, living in America as an international, feels like an amusement park - Some good rides, some bad. Brimming with excitement at the highs it has to offer, which might keep you coming back for more OR simmering with some flaws, that might just put you off the whole wave altogether!
